September 25, 1998

“Sometimes when I’m flying over the Alps I think, ‘That’s all the cocaine I sniffed.’” — Elton John

December 21, 2007

“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.” — Ambrose Bierce

March 27, 2008

Who will comfort the crying monk?

January 17, 1999

“In the future we’ll invent more junk!” — Gang of Four

October 16, 1994

There are no NeXTs left at Ryerson and only one, lone, pathetic NeXT here at Usite.

November 2, 1994

I did my first jazz show at WHPK. The DJ before me was this 75 year old guy named "Captain Bill". Here's how he introduced me (more or less): "OK now, next up is a young man named Seth... These young guys, they think they know. But they don't know." After putting on his last record, he proudly informed me that "The singer on this record is the same age as me!" I put on an Andrew Cyrille record and he warned me, "You'll never get any audience playing stuff like that!" At one point as he was lecturing me he actually drooled onto the floor.

October 24, 1998

from a book on Luis Bunuel: “Some fools have also written that I made a ‘smutty’ film. Down with smutty films! I hate them!” [Bunuel shouted this, as if he were barking a military command.]

March 15, 2008

from http://programmersatwork.wordpress.com/programmers-at-work-charles-simonyi/:

INTERVIEWER: Do you associate with any other programmers who have developed major programs? Do you trade ideas with them?

SIMONYI: [...] We don’t have much to talk about. We feel good vibes and exchange three or four words. I know that if one of these guys opens his mouth, he knows what he is talking about. So when he does open his mouth and he does know what he is talking about, it’s not a great shock. And since I tend to know what I am talking about, too, I would probably say the same thing, so why bother talking, really?

January 15, 1999

“It’s important to know that I made Venereology while drinking lots of beer. These essences are all influenced by death metal. But not musically. I liked something more extreme than the death metal rules. Pulse Demon is back to my usual way. I’m not targeting death metal. I’m not drunk when I recorded Pulse Demon.” — Masami Akita

October 22, 1999

I’m going to dress in English-professor brown and pig out on free hors d’oeuvres.

October 5, 1999

At this moment, a raven lands on his shoulder.

December 14, 1995

The ones with only their legs stuck accept their fate after a while and patiently endure their slow deaths, but the ones with their antennae stuck are really upset about it and twitch continually.

March 5, 2008

In October 1989, Art Garfunkel read HIS OWN BOOK.

September 12, 1996

The 1.5 liter glass bottle of water slid out of my bag and landed directly on the head of the man beneath.

March 26, 1997

Keep the Oval bit and the stuff about bacteria. I laughed.

February 10, 2008

From the Wikipedia article on “flattop”: “The shape of a flattop is, by definition, not compatible with the round shape of a human head.”