February 20, 2008

Does this spreadsheet make my galaxy look fat?

January 25, 2008

If you Google “moribund buildings”, I am the #1 hit.

December 27, 1995

Once a minute or so, a cockroach decides it can’t handle the heat and bolts up the wall.

February 1, 1995

There was a lot of this:

J—: So what else have you been listening to?

Seth: Well, I've been listening to that Andrew Cyrille record, What About...

J—: Oh, yeah. GREAT record.

Seth: Isn't it though?

J—: Fantastic.

[silence]

Seth: So how about that John Cage triple CD, the 25 year retrospective? I've been listening to that a lot.

J—: It's great isn't it. I love that piece for turntables, “Imaginary Landscape”.

Seth: Me too. And "Williams Mix".

J—: Yup, that's great, isn't it.

[silence]

Seth: So have you heard... [etc. etc. etc.]

February 16, 1995

Josh: Braxton opera in Austin! Braxton opera in Austin!

I’m envisioning you shouting this to the tune of the Beastie Boys’ “Egg Raid on Mojo”.

August 2, 1995

I saw Jandek perform live at the Lounge Ax! In my dreams, that is. There were upholstered seats at the Lounge Ax like at a movie theater. You weren't allowed to smoke in the seats, and C— was going around trying to make people put out their cigarettes. At a table up near the stage they were selling about three or four different Corwood Industries LP's. One of them was by Jad Fair, one was a Jandek album I didn't recognize, and I didn't get to see the other two. I don't remember the buildup to Jandek's appearance, but when Jandek actually came out on stage, Jandek was a woman! She was young, short, short hair, thin, boyish, wearing a thrift store type thin green print dress, shy but self-possessed. She had a backup singer (a woman with long red hair), and I think there may have been on a man onstage too but I don't remember. She sang one or maybe two songs and started to leave. The audience protested, and she responded by singing a children's song (something like "The Wheels on the Bus") for about thirty seconds then left the stage. The audience was plainly disgruntled but applauded to try to get her to come back out. A bunch of people stood up. Jandek did not reappear and gradually the applause died down and everyone sat back down in their movie theater seats. I stood up and applauded loudly to try to get the applause going again; a number of people turned around and looked at me, and only a few people joined me applauding. My arms felt very heavy and weak and I was barely able to hold them up and hit my hands together. C— came out on stage and made some kind of announcement about trying to get Jandek to perform some more. Several people lit up cigarettes, and the person next to me commented that now we were never going to get to see any more of Jandek, because C— (or someone) was going to have to go around and make sure everyone had put their cigarettes out before Jandek could go back on, but this was going to be nearly impossible. I was upset with the audience for turning against Jandek so quickly.

January 10, 1996

I'm listening to Gene Ammons on the radio and he just quoted “Flight of the Bumblebee” in a solo. Now that’s jazz!

June 9, 1997

“Like most other composers, Schoenberg had more or less constant money problems. The thought arises whether these are not the true subject of music.” — John Cage

October 17, 1997

The upward spiral of intimacy could turn catastrophic.

April 17, 2002

“The flashy Roth, dressed in black nylon trousers and shirt, was accompanied by three bodyguards, three masked catwomen in fluorescent unitards and a beer-drinking midget sporting an Andy Warhol wig. Hagar turned up solo in jeans and T-shirt.” — CNN

September ???, 1994

I drove home muttering “Oh boy” under my breath the whole way, like Braxton at Stonehenge.

April 2, 1995

Their saxophones were extremely shiny.

May 24, 1995

Every item is carefully selected by my staff to appeal to your exact sense of humor.

July 16, 1995

The zipper on my shorts broke so to cover up my wide open fly I had to buy a Melt Banana T-shirt, size XL.

April 3, 1995

I mean, discussing Billy Idol on a Jackson Browne mailing list is one thing, but...